It’s midmorning and the Murray River is shimmering olive green as it shuffles through the sun-kissed Sunraysia district in northwest Victoria. I’m two hours into my tenure as riverboat captain, watching the river unfurl from the wheelhouse of Elevate Luxury, a houseboat that happens to be worth more money than any house, boat or conceivable combination of the two I could ever dream of owning. I still can’t believe they’re letting me drive.
My appointed first mate Rob squints at the digital mapping screen charting our real-time progress upstream from Mildura. “Say, what do you suppose these skull and crossbones symbols mean?” he asks. I spit my coffee and jerk my head up, suddenly sighting a cluster of drowned river red gums dead ahead, protruding from the water like a jagged reef. All morning my state of mind has teetered between calm and calamity.
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